What They Don't Teach You at Bartender School

"gimme me one more. carl." (for those you who've been following this blog, drunk guys don't give a crap about grammar too, for very different reasons from little kids though or maybe, similar)

By the way, about drunk guys. After a peg or two, one is what is called 'high'. You know, that deceptively indefatigable feeling of supremacy. 'There is No no'. A state of depleted hesitancy. In fact, one is actually fun to talk to and interesting to observe.
As one continues with the downing of alcohol however, one moves more and more towards either impotency or childish (doesn't that sound endearing?) behavior.

"You've already had one too many, Sir", Carl says calmly.

Carl is the bartender. He is good at his work- being the bartender. Ace of the class of 2005 at Bartender School.
Our drunk guy. He is your mid-life crisis guy. And something profound happened in his life today. And something profound is going to happen in his life today. And let's keep him nameless. For reasons.

"you know.... carl. i lost my job today. my wife left me and, and..."
"Go on.", says Carl. He is the bartender. Listening to sob stories is part of his job profile.
"i don't know what to do. i don't know how it'll ever get better."
"That's life, man. Up and down. Give it time. It'll get okay." Carl is a bartender. Emphasis.

And by the way, this way, it won't. Get okay, that is.

"Here, have another drink." Carl pours him another peg and hands it over. (Carl's income is proprtional to the amount of alcohol he sells) Carl is a bartender. Emphasis.
Nameless guy downs the peg. Like it's supposed to solve a problem.
"i need to take a leak. carl."
"Ya. Turn around and go straight. The Men's Room is the one on your right."
Our nameless guy, by the way, is a regular at this pub.

He enters the Men's Room. Takes the leak. And. Sits down with his back to the wall. This wall, the one with its face opposite to the wall that has the urinals, is mirrored. Completely. I mean the whole wall has one big mirror on it.

"Had a rough day, mister?", says the Janitor. The Janitor is black, medium height and has a wizened face. Picture Morgan Freeman in blue janitor overalls and a mop in his hand. Thats him.
"yes. i lost my job. my wife left me..." And the same sob story goes on for some time. Janitors are good listeners. The story goes a little further back. And then, further back till our nameless guy is 23 and just started his career. In effect, our nameless guy and the Janitor have talked for about 45 minutes.

"You know nameless guy, I don't think there is anything worse than being ordinary.", says Janitor.
"huh?"
"Yes. Your problem is that you turned 50 at 23. Your problem is that you turned wise at 23."
Nameless guy stares at him blankly.
"I think you suck.", says Janitor.
"Your problem is that you never took a risk in your life. That's why your life sucks. At 50, you are no longer valuable to the company that employed you at 23. And your wife finds you boring. In fact, you 'are' quite boring.", continues Janitor.

"Stand up, nameless guy. And turn around."
Nameless guy, expectedly quite baffled and still with his pathetic face, does that.
"Look in this mirror, nameless guy. You are the story-teller of your own life. And you can create your own legend or not."
His face is no longer pathetic.
"Here, take this red marker. And write your name on this mirror. Leave your mark." Leave your mark, yes.

He does have a name, by the way. And its on that wall. The wall with the mirror. And as it turned out, a few years down the line, its on quite a few other walls too.

Saying it as it is, the straight truth, is not something they teach you at Bartender School. To be fair to Bartender School, it's not their job, really.

The Bartender represents something. So does the Janitor.

Diplomacy is the problem with this world.

credits- The motion picture American Beauty for "I don't think there is anything worse than being ordinary."